She wanted a boyfriend like the popular girls in class always had one. But who’d like her? “I’m so fat and ugly,” she told herself every time she dared to have a crush. Her sister told her to just go and say, “I like you.” But how could she? Sometimes she wondered if she hated herself. And sometimes she answered with a yes.
She felt more than others. It got her into trouble most of the time. She thought about saving the world. Feeling helpless wasn’t her thing. Sleepless nights were normal. When they told her to narrow her focus, she knew she was in the wrong place.
She dreaded the moment. It was cold and dark out there. The touch of his fur and soft purring kept her in bed. She turned the alarm off while muttering some expletives in three languages. Then an hour later the furry kid woke her up with sounds of scratching and playing. She could never be harsh with him.
Flowers were nice but loving words stayed longer. Chocolate was delicious but the effects were hard to work off. She longed for kindness and affection that nobody could put a price tag on. Her dreams weren’t about his gifts. Sometimes she wondered if they defined love too differently. Looking like George Clooney was a quality she couldn’t ignore though.
They didn’t like each other most of the time. In fact, she’d describe their relationship as Crazily Intense Love. Outsiders wished they’d stay away from each other and counted the hours between each nasty, loud conversation. They wondered how love could turn into this, as they questioned the principles of the current generation. Inside their apartment, the couple wondered if their script and acting were good enough for the upcoming drama festival.
“Time will heal everything,” they’d said. She knew that sounded too easy. Some people wondered why she took so long when others forgot so soon. “The healing process is unique for all,” she’d reply. Nobody was satisfied with her progress but she didn’t care. The day she realised that she had moved on, she defined healing as new habit that we are forced into.
She liked pink and green. He preferred greys and browns. Joint shopping trips got on her nerves, but he enjoyed her company. When she wanted to buy him a gift, her eyes hurt looking at the dull colours. He bought her pinks and greens with a smile. Different tastes were alright in his rule book – as long as he could get what he wanted at the dining table. Thankfully, they both liked the same food and drink.