Anxiety and depression can make you believe that you don’t deserve love or appreciation. It can make you doubt yourself every minute that you’re awake. There’s fear of rejection and a lack of self worth that stop you from doing so many things. I’ve always been open about my mental health and about mental health issues in general so here’s my confession: I stopped myself from pitching any new work/writing for a year or so because of my mental health. Many of you don’t know that I would regularly pitch articles and short stories to publications and get published too! With the anxiety taking over me and my self esteem and my perception of things, I stopped trying. In other words, I thought I had no chance of getting a yes on my work after a no or two.
The last few months, I’ve been thinking about my writing career and how I miss pitching and seeing my work in multiple places. I was going through my old emails and wow, there were so many examples of me being confident and sending across my writing to so many places! That was me. Yeah.
All fired up and determined to push myself, I pitched some of my recent novellas and short stories to a digital publisher I really like. I got two acceptances within two days. I also pitched a short story to a children’s publication after ages and got an acceptance. Suddenly, I remembered the high. That feeling. Amazing.
I tweeted about this. So many people were so happy for me. It’s difficult for many people to understand how big a deal this is for me. Or for anyone trying to overcome anxiety. Anxiety is NOT simply about being worried – there’s much more to it including physical symptoms like palpitations, high blood pressure, insomnia, and more terrible things. It can take over your life and affect every aspect of it because at the end of the day, it’s our thoughts that impact us the most.
I’m grateful for the support I’ve found on Twitter and hope people who read and comment on this post will be sensitive even if they don’t completely relate to this.