It’s time for my first cat and dog class. Garby and Giri are waiting in the car. They like sitting next to me while I drive. I have come to get Gugulu, who has had an early morning bath it seems. His long hair is combed too. “Are you sure the cats won’t pull his tail?” My neighbour did not know a thing about cats. I said I was sure and left with Gugulu. The silly boy thought I was taking him for a walk. I have never walked with Gugulu. I never wanted to. Garby and Giri know when to go out and walk themselves. See, cats are the best.
When Gugulu and I reach the car, the boys are rude. They both turn puffy and ask me if I want them to go. Garby adds, “I can’t believe you did this to us.” I tell them all to be good for three hours. Gugulu likes cars. He ignores Giri and Garby because he finds the people outside more friendly. He is a cute dog. People wave to him and ignore my cats. My feelings are hurt. I pat them on their heads and tell them they are better than Gugulu. “Dogs are not cats. Cats are the best,” I say. They say thank you and Gugulu says he will not help me ever again. Dogs!
That day, I missed Potlee and her fan. I also hated cats for a while. Garby, Giri, and Gugulu made the class laugh. They laughed and laughed at me, the famous cat expert, Ernie Fish! I listened to them laugh and thought I should write cat books. I have already written many. Did I tell you that? I could write more and more and never have such a day again.
The first part went well. Gugulu and my boys were as rude to each other as cats and dogs should be. According to my research, I mean. He growled. They turned into little balls. Garby said “hiss”. Giri began to tell Gugulu the history of cats and dogs. “We are always the hardworking ones,” he screamed. Gugulu’s voice became louder. “Say sorry,” he said. My students were watching and listening. Some of them whispered about the ‘cute cat’ – Garby. People always say he is a good looking cat. Giri is a handsome cat, but he can be rude. Still, he is MY cat. I think he is the best. So is Garby, of course. They are both the best. I am the best cat expert with the best cats!
A curious student asked, “What are they saying to each other?” I told them. I saw twenty pairs of eyes looking at me in silence. Somebody asked, “You know twasheir language?” I, Ernie Fish, said yes with pride. The students clapped while Gugulu and Giri continued to fight. Garby was quiet. He was busy sleeping behind Giri. “Why is the cute cat sleeping?” I did not like this student at all. Nobody can call Garby cute cat twice and make Giri feel bad. “The cute cat has a name. Garby,” I said. The student showed no interest in the name. The time had come to end the silly fight because Giri was known to pull dogs’ noses if they made him very angry. “Class, watch me.”
I took out the fish. The smell woke up Garby. His eyes were wide open before I could put the fish into bowls. Giri was on the desk where I was opening the can. He never had good table manners. Gugulu stood on his feet and hugged the desk. “This is a fun circus,” I heard a student say. No it isn’t! No it isn’t! I wanted to scold the boys and Gugulu, but they would cry in front of everybody. I am a famous cat expert so I knew what to do. I gave them their fish and bowls of water. Poor cats. Too much attention can annoy them. I’m not a dog expert, in the full sense, you know, but Gugulu was not the best dog. He needed a haircut. Long hair makes dogs dislike cats. They wish for short hair and small, pointed ears. Cats really look the best.
I sent Garby and Giri out for a walk. “Don’t get lost,” I said. Gugulu and I went for a walk too. “Get my leash,” he said. The student who called Garby ‘cute’ wanted to walk with us too. “Mr. Fish,” she asked. “Yes?” She was nervous. Her cheeks were pink. A shy girl it seemed. Then she said something that nobody has ever said before. “May I take the cute cat home?” I stopped walking. Gugulu barked. The student’s question had surprised him. I thought the girl was funny. “No, you may not,” I told her. She started crying and crying. The other students came running. A teacher came too. Garby and Giri were there too.
“What is wrong?” The teacher asked me and Gugulu. I said her student wanted my cat. “Which one, Mr. Fish? The cute one?” This teacher was as rude as the student! “My cats are called Giri and Garby,” I said. “And they are both cute!” Giri licked his paws and looked proud. Garby was fast asleep behind him.
The teacher asked me to give Garby to the girl. I said no. A cat expert does not give away his cats. These people were strange. The girl cried loudly and came to Garby. “Stay away,” I said. She picked him up. The poor boy woke up. He yawned three times. “Give him back to me,” I said. The student said no. I said yes. She said no again. Giri and Gugulu sat and watched. They licked their paws clean. I wished they would speak up. I’m a famous cat expert. Not a human girl expert. The teacher asked me to leave. I said the class was not over. He said I must go. Garby yawned again. “Give me my cat,” I said. The girl started running away. I saw danger and ran after her, Gugulu’s leash in my hand. So Gugulu and I ran. Giri watched. And Garby stopped yawning. The teacher ran too. He wanted us to leave. I was not going without my cat!
I left the rude class and the unfair teacher after Garby jumped out of the girl’s arms. The boy sometimes goes in the wrong direction, so he ran into Gugulu. I picked him up with one arm and pushed Giri into the other, before we drove away.