“Do you know where we’re going?” He said no. His hand held hers with no commitment. They sat there and watched the others go by. Even the birds had a sense of direction, she thought. He pointed to the fountain nearby. “Let’s just go with the flow,” he announced.
Love cannot be hidden,
Even in the darkest of times.
Love cannot be created,
Even by the strongest of hearts.
Love cannot be forgotten,
Even with the weakest of minds.
It wasn’t easy being the oldest. She often wondered about her expiry date. Watching two much younger siblings transitioning to ashes had torn her heart. “Enjoy your life,” said her friends. She tried to follow their simple advice, living with her memories. From the little utensils that they’d play with, to the painful last days. Was it guilt for being alive? She longed to be with them again.
She felt more than she said. Her heart was at her fingertips and in her eyes. Some nights, she’d ask herself if she’d rather feel less intensely. As the tears wet her pillow and brought on a deluge of painful thoughts with it, she accepted the truth. Of course she preferred to feel a lot than to feel too little.
She never asked for anything; it was against her personality. When somebody compelled her to accept a gift, she promptly delivered a return gift of gratitude. It was only the little ball of fur and naughtiness whom she asked for anything at all. “Let me hug you, kitty,” she’d plead. But cats played hard to get.
Her taste buds didn’t welcome chocolate these days. Fruity desserts made them happiest. Greedy bites of lemon tart were another new habit. “But he’s made chocolate cake today. You know you want it,” said her mother. Suddenly, the thought of his weak hands making her childhood favourite filled her mind. She was craving chocolate again.
Pearls were elegant. She thought they looked good on most people. When her parents gave her pearl earrings for her 18th birthday, she wondered why she wasn’t excited about wearing them later. “They are beautiful,” she thought. “But they are so plain.” So she let her eyes and mouth show gratitude because that is what she felt, and then she made a silent decision. A few years later, she fulfilled her promise when she could afford to buy earrings that suited her personality – they included every colour of the rainbow.